Friday, 7th August 2020

All Eyes on Will Smith as 2012 Approaches

Posted on 01. Oct, 2011 by in Entertainment | 659 views

Our Savior, Will Smith

December 21st, 2012. Many believe that on this fateful day, the world will come to an end. As the world begins their preparations for the upcoming year, all eyes are on Will Smith.

There is much speculation to how the world will end on December 21st, 2012. Some say the Earth’s magnetic field will be thrown off, Aliens will come down and invade Earth, Robots will take over the planet, the Apes may rise. Whatever the case may be, the fate of mankind may all depend on Will Smith.

“I’m not the Earth’s savior.” Will Smith said during an exclusive sit down interview in his private home. “I can’t do it. My wife is cheating on me with a dirty Mexican. My daughter’s hair is terrible. Jaden is addicted to steroids and nobody cares about my other son. My life is a mess right now. I’m not fit to be hailed as the Earth’s savior. I’m sorry, but I told the directors of the Matrix the same thing. I’m not the one.”

It may seem that Will Smith is reluctant to save Earth, but according to his track record, he’s the most qualified man for the job.

Men in Black, Men in Black 2, I, Robot, Independence Day, Wild Wild West, Hancock, and I Am Legend. If those movies prove anything, it’s that Will Smith is our only chance.

“Why me? I failed in I Am Legend. The Quarantine broke through. Every single person that you or I have ever known, IS DEAD” Will Smith said while clenching his fist and shaking his head violently.

“You know.. I mean.. I.. I was saving that bacon.” Will Smith said. “I was saving that bacon. But I couldn’t save the lives of billions of innocent people.”

It soon became apparent that Will Smith was suffering from the delusions of Scientology.

“I can’t be the one to save Planet Earth. What about Captain Planet? Or Bruce Willis. He drilled a hole in a meteor and blew it the fuck up! He saved us all before. Why can’t he do it again? I’m not fit to save the world. Go call Tommy Lee Jones. I haven’t made a good movie in 5 years. “Smith said. “I’m no savior, just a regular guy born and raised in West Philadelphia. The playground was where I spent most of my days.”

With Will Smith no longer willing to save the world, it appears that the world may truly come to an end on December 21st, 2012. And we can all thank Tom Cruise’s gay ass for making Will Smith turn soft.

For now, we may have to settle for Jay Pharaoh.

Jay Phaoroah doing his best Will Smith impersonation

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